


Criminal Mind: Better Than Yourself

by Michaelgordonclitoris



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drug Dealing, Drug Use, Drug dealer Ashton, Gun Violence, Homophobia, Jail, M/M, Prison, Rape/Non-con Elements, Recreational Drug Use, solo artist luke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-08-07 09:33:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7710004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Michaelgordonclitoris/pseuds/Michaelgordonclitoris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You have to go visit him, you know."</p>
<p>Based off of the Lukas Graham song, Criminal Mind and Criminal Mind part two: Better than yourself</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prolouge

“You have to go visit him, you know,” Michael told him from across their shared apartment dining table.

“I don’t think I can,” Luke mumbled looking down at the paper that was already becoming crinkled underneath his fingers that were gripping it as tightly as it could, as if it were him. 

“You have to,” Michael reiterated.

“I -I-I’m so busy, with music and, and, I don’t think I can-”

“Luke, I will make you go, You’re the only thing he holds on to and you know that! You promised him you would visit, and you owe him just that!”

“You’re right, I know you are, It’s just been so long. I miss the days when I was sixteen.” Luke looked down at the paper once again and held it close to his chest.


	2. Four Years Earlier

“Okay, there’s no way Spongebob could beat Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in a fight Luke, that’s ridiculous!” Ashton shook his head in between puffs of smoke.

“But Spongebob can regenerate limbs and he never dies! He can breath underwater and above, What if he takes the fight to the ocean, Dwayne won't even have a chance!” Luke laughed and kicked his legs around hysterically in the car. 

“You’re an idiot,” Ashton chuckled fondly, “Come here, Let me give you some smoke,” Ashton said and inhaled from the fat blunt that was pinched between his pointer finger and thumb. He brought Luke's face up to his and blew the smoke into Luke's mouth with a kiss. 

“You know you can just pass it to me?” Luke giggled as they separated and released the smoke out of his nose.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Ashton asked and took another puff.

“It would make me get higher, and you love me when I’m high.”

“That’s true,” Ashton nodded, “But having your lips is better.”

Luke rolled his red eyes and crawled into the back seat.

“What are you doing?” Ashton laughed and looked back at him confused.

“Come get my high lips!” He giggled and flopped his body down.

Ashton shook his head knowing he was too big and old for this stuff but he hopped over the middle console of his car and placed the blunt into Luke's mouth to hold it while he positioned himself over him without crushing him.

Luke inhaled the smoke and puffed it out through his nose before running his hand up into Ashton’s curly locks. 

“I love you, you know that,” Luke mumbled dizzily.

“I’m just your dealer,” Ashton shook his head.

“Do you treat all if your clients like this?” Luke chuckled and tried to sit up to kiss Ashton but fell back into the seat lazily. 

“Just you.”

“You’re my everything,” Luke mumbles and tries to lazily kiss him again.

Ashton gives a sad fake grin and presses a kiss just next to his lips.

“You’re meant for something better,” he says with a soft voice, “someone better.”

“What do you mean buddy?” Luke asks like a little kid.

“You’re not gay like me, okay? You’re bi, just go fall in love with a girl and get married and have kids. Stop making life so difficult for yourself. Stop falling for me, all I’ll ever be is a drug dealer.”

“You’re not gonna do this your whole life, are you?” 

“Nothing's gonna change, Luke.”

“I love you,” Luke mumbled anyway.

Ashton stayed silent and gave in placing another kiss on his lips.


	3. Two Weeks Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strong homophobia in this chapter including slurs, also graphic depiction of violence

“Come on Ashy, let me come with you!” Luke whined and pawed at the older boy's chest. 

“Luke, I’m not taking you with me to a drug deal,” Ashton shakes his head definitely as he pulls a shirt around his arms and buttons it up.

“Ashton, I’ll just hide in the back seat and then we can watch a movie!”

“Just because it’s at the Drive-In doesn’t mean I’m watching a movie, It’s Tuesday, no one goes to the Drive-In on Tuesday. I’m just making the deal and leaving.”

“Pleeeeeease!” Luke begged and tried to be as cute as possible, “I’ll do anything for you when we get home.”

“Anything?” Ashton smirked.

“Anything,” he nodded his head and walked up behind him.

“Fine, but like you said, you’re hiding in the back seat,” he agreed reluctantly. 

Luke squealed excitedly and nodded his head quickly, “I promise!” 

Ashton finished getting dressed and grabbed his keys.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“This is weird, I’m not used to sitting in the back seat,” Luke laughed. 

 

“Don’t get used to it, this is a one and only opportunity,” Ashton warns and holds up a finger to show him he’s stern. 

“Nah, I’m gonna be like you some day,” Luke said and reached his arms around the seat in front of him to wrap his arms around Ashton.

“Don’t say that, It’s not glamorous, Luke. Don’t look up to me like you’re a little kid.”

“I am a kid!” Luke exaggerated, “I’m sixteen!”

“And I’m only two years older.”

“You’re a role model!”

“I’m literally a drug dealer, Luke.”

“Whatever,” Luke grumbled and leaned back in his seat. 

“Shh, hide behind my seat,” Ashton warns as he sees his client walking towards him slowly. Ashton moves around and grabs the bag of light brown powder from his pocket. 

“W-what is that?” Luke whispered from behind the seat, he could see it through the crack between the chair and the middle console. 

“What does it look like?” Ashton mumbled and let the pack sit on his lap.

“I thought you only sold weed,” Luke said scared. 

“Luke what part of it not being a glamourous life do you not understand?” He growled, “Now hush!”

Ashton rolled down his window for the man. 

“Do you have the money?” He asked.

“Yeah,” He nodded and scratched at the sores on his face. He handed him some cash.

“This isn’t enough, I said two hundred, this is only one hundred,” Ashton mumbled angrily.

“Look man, that’s all I have.”

“Well then I only have half the amount of H you ordered,” Ashton spit back.

“Give it to me, now,” The man threatened and got closer to Ashton's face. 

“Yo, it’s not enough money-” Ashton gasped and a three gunshots echoed throughout the empty. The man grabbed the bag of heroin from Ashtons lap, spilling some in the process, and took his money back before running away.

“Ashton!” Luke yelled and climbed out to the front seat. There was blood everywhere coming from the bullet wounds in his leg, gut, and shoulder. 

“Ashton, please, no!” he panicked and tried to cover up the bleeding wounds. 

Ashton grabbed Luke's face with his hand and held him close.  
“I- I love you Luke,” He mumbled for the first time, “Please, you need to go.”

“No! No!” Luke shook his head furiously, “Please, that can’t be the only time you ever get to say that to me,” He sobbed, his hands covered in blood now. 

“Take my phone, call an ambulance, and run. You can't get caught. You’re meant for something better…” 

Luke shook his head, “No! Please! I love you…” He sobbed but took Ashton’s phone in his hand.

“I love you Luke, please, before someone comes,” He warns.

Luke nods his head and dials 911 in front of Ashton.

“911 what is your emergency?” the lady on the line asked.

“Hello, I..um, I just heard some gunshots at the drive in and I think someone was shot. Please send an ambulance,” Luke tells her trying to act calm.

“Sir, do you see anyone-”

“Just send an ambulance!” He tells her again and hangs up quickly.

“I love you Ash,” He cries and grips onto his shirt tightly.

“I love you, g-go,” Ashton stutters out and prys Luke’s hands from himself.

Luke sobs and runs out of the car hating himself for leaving. He runs the entire way home to his Mom's house and climbs in his bedroom window. He gasps, not being able to breathe. 

“Luke, are you okay?” His mom calls up to him from upstairs. 

“I’m fine!” He says shakily and locks himself in his bathroom, not wanting his mom to see him covered in blood. 

He peeled the clothing off of his skin and looked at himself in the mirror naked. Dark bags under his eyes, and Ashtons hand print on his face from his blood. Luke gasped at himself in the mirror and looked down at his own hands, stained red and brown. 

He stepped into the tub and turned the water on as hot as it could go and crumpled into a heap.

There was no way for him to find out if Ashton was okay. He couldn't call him to ask him if he was alright let alone even know if he was alive, so he laid naked on the bathtub floor and let the hot water singe him until his skin was red and so was the water beneath him. 

His mom came in an hour later and knocked on his bathroom door, “Luke, are you okay? You’ve been in there a while.”

“Yeah mum, i’m fine,” he called back out trying not to sob. He stood up and stepped out of the bath realizing that his bloody clothes were scattered around the floor so he picked them up and threw them in the bathroom trash, stuffing it down. 

He got dressed in a pair of boxers and nothing else and walked out and laid on his bed numbly. 

“You look rough baby, what’s wrong?” his Mother, liz, asked him and brought a hand out to touch his shoulder. Luke flinched and pulled away.

“Nothing, I’m fine.”

“Oh-Okay,” She said sadly, knowing he was lying and looked bad. She decided to leave him be and walked back downstairs to her own room. 

Luke sat staring at the ceiling the entire night in shock of what had happened before his own very eyes, his friend and first love getting shot in front of him three times, and there was absolutely nothing he could do. He wanted to hold his hand the entire time until the police got there, he wanted to be there just in case ashton...just in case. Of course that junkie spilled the heroin all over Ashton, even if he lives, he’s fucked. It’s not like Ashton could have been able to clean it all up before the ambulance and police would get there, there’s no way Ashton can get out of this, and Luke knows that deep in his heart. 

Luke tosses and turns before grabbing the phone on his nightstand and dialling the number for the closest hospital. 

“Hi,” he answered nervously, “Do you have an Ashton Irwin under your care?”

“Yes we do but I’m under orders to not release any information on him for legal reasons,” She said back politely. 

“Can you just tell me if he’s okay?” He begged.

“I’m sorry sir, but i’m not allowed to-” Luke hung up on her and flung the phone to the other side of his bed. He’d just have to keep waiting. 

 

But after hours and hours of laying awake restlessly and not even blinking, Luke hears a franting tapping noise at his bedroom window and runs to check on it. The light was just beginning to peek out from the horizon so he could tell that it was early. Luke's room was on the second story so the only way someone could sneak in is by shimmying up the drain pipe, which is exactly what Ashton had done in his panicked state. 

Luke gasped and opened the window for him quickly helping him in with as much power as he could muster from his skinny weak arms. 

“What are you doing here?” he panicked and put his hand against Ashtons stomach looking for one of the bullet wings. 

“They gave me surgery last night, One of the guards was watching me but he slipped up thought I was harmless and didn’t cuff me to the bed,” He explained with heavy breaths. 

“Are you okay?” Luke asked noticing some blood starting to pool up in his shirt and pants. 

“Oh, it’s just the stitches, I’m fine,” He lied.

“Ashton you were shot three times, you’re not fine.”

“Please hide me,” Ashton changed the subject quickly and begged. 

“Don’t you think the police are going to come look for you here?” Luke said as if it were obvious.

“No, Why would they, It’s not they know that you’re my... “ he trailed off not knowing what to call it. 

“I-I” Luke stuttered not knowing how to say it.

“What’s wrong?” Ashton asked and knitted his brows together confused.

“I called the hospital last night.” 

“Fuck…. Fuck!” Ashton exclaimed in frustration and tugged at his own hair. 

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself, I thought you were dead!” Luke cried out and reached a hand out to touch Ashton.  
“Luke, I have to go,” Ashton said sorrowly.

“No! Please don’t!” Luke begged with tears in his eyes, “Don’t leave me.”

“I thought I would be safe with you, I’m sorry,” Ashton mumbled and shook his head. 

The entire house was silent for a moment and then a few heavy footsteps were heard coming up the stairs.

Ashton pecked a kiss onto Luke’s lips and turned to head to the window but collapsed quickly from the wounds he still had. He tried to crawl to the window but the person coming upstairs heard the commotion and ran into luke's room quickly, a police officer.

“No…” Luke whispered more scared of Ashton going to prison than of him just leaving. 

The cop ran over and pinned Ashton to the floor of Luke’s room even though he put up no fight from being so exhausted. Luke screamed this time, “NO!” He grabbed onto Ashtons legs and cried at his shoes, begging the officer to not do it. 

“Please don’t take him!” He sobbed clutching onto Ash as hard as he could as the officer cuffed him behind his back and lifted him up to his feet. Luke screamed and threw a fit like a small child, crawling on the ground after Ashton’s feet and begging between sobs, but the man too Ashton away from him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day Luke was questioned on everything extensively. He lied about being there when Ashton was shot but admitted that he had no idea he would show up at his house, he offered to give a drug test to prove he at least wasn’t on heroin or any class A drugs but the investigators declined deeming it unnecessary. 

 

Ashton was processed and booked into the nearest prison, awaiting a nearby court date that luke knew would not be in his favor, and after a week Luke found out he was right, His mom didn’t allow him to go to his court sentencing know that she knew what was going on, He was a bad influence and she wanted Luke to have nothing to do with him. So when Luke heard about it by word of mouth his heart sunk but he didn’t react in any way as he already knew that would be the outcome.Luke stayed home that entire day and didn’t say a word to his mom for not letting him go. The judge was apparently not very merciful on him and sentenced him to seven years in low security prison and four years of rehabilitation in which he was only allowed visitation and phone calls from family. Four years without him. 

Once ashton was transferred to the prison that he would be residing in he was allowed one phone call to anyone and he chose Luke. He wasn’t allowed to call for more than five minutes or they would charge him money from his commissary.

 

“You are receiving a call from Silverwater Correctional Complex, If you would like to answer please press the pound key.”

Luke gasped and hit the button on his phone as quickly as possible. 

“Ashton?” he asked panicked. 

“Hey, they said I get to call you one time before I start my stupid fucking rehabilitation,” He muttered.

“How long?” He asked hoping the answer would change.

“Four fucking years,” He said angrily. 

Luke nodded his head even though Ashton couldn’t hear and tried not to cry.

“I only get to talk to you for five minutes,” Ashton told him.

“W-what?” Luke asked confused.

“They’ll charge me and I don’t have any money in my commissary. My parents haven’t talked to me in years.”

“Can I put money in your commissary?” Luke asked eagerly.

“It wouldn’t matter, this is the only call I’m allowed.” 

“O-okay,” Luke understood, “I love you,” he sobbed. 

“I lo-” The phone cut off and ashton panicked on the other line, “No!” he slammed the phone on the wall knowing he ran out of time.

“Luke!” He yelled into the cell phone hoping it was a mistake and that he could hear him just fine but there was no response. 

“Oh we got ourselves a poofter,” a large man chuckled and picked up the phone, “I’ll remember that next time we’re in the showers.” 

“Touch me and you’re fucking dead,” Ashton spit at the man who was much larger than him in anger.

“I’ll let it slide this time but don’t talk to me that way again or i’ll make your stay here much worse than it needs to be,” He scoffed and dialled whoever he was calling as Ashton pulled himself away and walked to his new bunk.

Luke sighed and threw his phone across the room, “No!” he yelled angrily and hit himself on the side of the head. “Fuck!”

Liz ran up the stairs confused, “Luke what is wrong?”

“You didn’t let me go to the court house! The last time I got to see him was when they took him away from me! I lied, I was there! I watched him get riddled with fucking bullets!” He screamed. 

“Luke! You know why I didn’t let you go, you’re gonna get killed if you hang out with him!”

“Well I guess I’ll be fine because I can't talk to him for four years!” He sobbed loudly and punched the wall next to him leaving a hole and blood on his hand.

“Don’t you dare say that, he is trash and he’s in prison now!” 

“What, you don’t think I’m guilty too, mom? I smoked weed with him all the time, I was there when he was dealing heroin, I lied about seeing him get shot!” 

“No you didn’t!” She yelled back trying not to believe him. 

“I did,” he said softly not even trying to yell anymore because of hoarse his voice was.

“Get out,” she whispered.

“What?” 

“Get out of my house, have fun ending up in prison with that poofter.” 

Luke chuckled angrily and shook his head before grabbing a bag and stuffing it with his belongings while staring at her straight in the eyes, “I guess you can call me one too then,” He mumbled.

“What?” she asked in an angry shock.

“You called him a poofter, then you should call me one too. Don’t be a hypocrite, If you’d call him that why not call me that?”

“Because you’re my son. You’re not gay!” She scoffed. 

“Ashton would disagree,” He chuckled. 

“That is disgusting, get out!” She yelled again and left the room.

Luke finished grabbing all of his belongings and sat on his bed to call his friend Michael. Michael lived in the granny flat behind his mom's house and was the only person Luke knew to call. 

“Hey..” He mumbled not knowing what to say.

“What’s up mate?” 

“Um my mom kicked me out.. And…”

“Come over, you can stay with me,” Michael said as if it were obvious. 

“Really?” 

“Of course!”


	4. Prison Sentence One Year Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> depiction of non con/ rape

“Ashton I’ve been your therapist for almost a year now, and even though you seem indifferent towards treatment, you have opened up a lot,” Doctor Ramirez says convinced.

“I guess,” He shrugs his shoulders not wanting to talk much. 

“Is there anything wrong?” She asks him. 

“Well someone stole my used toothbrush from my bunk this morning, I get beat up every day, and I haven’t been able to talk to Luke today.”

“Ashton, You say that you haven't talked to Luke for a whole year.”

“And I’ll keep saying that until I can talk to him.”

Doctor Ramirez sighed and nodded. 

“Well…” 

Ashtons head shot up with hope.

“I can open up your P.O. box, You won't be able to have visitation or be able to send him anything, but he can send you letters…” 

“Yes! Please!” he almost begs, needing to talk to at least someone from the outside world.

“Okay, I’ll even contact him personally to inform him,” she smiled at how happy he was. 

“Than you so much,” he breathes out and walks to the door already eager to go back to his bunk, but when he makes it there his bunkmate Travis is already there and doesn’t look to happy.

“What are you all smiley about faggot?” He asks angrily.

“Please, not today Travis…” Ashton begs him as he watches the giant man close the makeshift “curtain” made out of a sheet.

“I’ll take you when I want to,” He says and pushes him down on the bed, pushing his head into the mattress and using his hands to pry open Ashtons mouth.

“You’re not allowed to be happy,” he muttered and pulled his pants down and thrusted into his mouth angrily without any warning.

“Please…no,” Ashton cired between gags and gasps and tried to crawl away, but just like all the other times he was at a disadvantage and couldn’t get away. The man left bruises all over Ashton and after he was finished he physically picked him up and threw him outside of their cell with his jaw hurting and a mess all over his face. Ashton fell on the ground in the hall and scraped his hands. He could barely feel the lower half of his body and he just wanted to crawl home to Luke. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two days later Ashton received his first letter from Luke.

“I can’t believe they really let you open up your P.O. box, I want to send you so much stuff but I’m so bad at writing letters, I have no idea what to even say. My mom kicked me out when she found out what you really were to me, so I live with Michael now. You probably don’t remember him, you sold weed to him once though. He’s really nice but I liked staying over with you more. I haven’t smoked in a year, not because I quit or anything, I just don’t feel like it, It won't be fun without you to banter with and kiss. I was wrong, Kissing you makes me more high.

I hope you’re not alone in that hell, I have no idea what it’s like and I’m so sorry you’re in there. It’s all my fault. If I wouldn't have called the hospital that night I probably could have kept you safe, I think about that every fucking day.

Promise me that you’ll make it better for yourself, I wish I could help you but I can’t. All you can do is help yourself and make it better. Maybe if you’re good they’ll let you early. I’ll be on the other side waiting for you Ash.

-From your Luke”

Ashton teared up reading it in his bunk and held it close, knowing he had to keep it hidden or else someone would see it and rip it up out of spite. 

“I’m not allowed to be happy,” he thought but shook his head, folding up the letter and sticking it under his lumpy mattress. 

The assaults continued to happen at least three times a week and once a day at the height. Ashton always tried to push it off but it was almost as if every man in the place wanted a piece of him. When they were in groups it took three men to hold him down and they never went further than his mouth but a few tried, Ashton was strong enough to kick them away but not strong enough to stop them when multiple people held him down and pried his mouth open.

“Ashton how are you feeling today?” His therapist asked him.

“Luke sent me a letter,” He said and stared at the wall.

“But you still don’t look very happy.”

“Well, like I said before, I’m in prison and I’m a smaller openly gay guy, It’s not exactly easy for me in here.”

“I have a feeling that there’s more going on then just getting beaten up.”

“Nothing…” he said obviously badly lying.

“Are there any prisoners sexually assaulting you?” she asked and jotted something down on her clipboard. 

Ashton shook his head furiously and clutched his knees to his chest. 

“I can help you without letting anyone know it was you that snitched,” she said knowing that was his main concern. 

“All of them, almost all of them at least…” he said.

“Oh…” she said, “If it were just one or two I could… but there’s nothing I can really do without putting you in solitary and taking away your P.O. box privileges.”

“No!” he said knowing he’d rather get molested every day than not be able to read Luke’s letters.

“Okay…” she nodded and scratched the pen against the paper on her clipboard.


End file.
